Bracketology. But first—a horrible mixed drink.
Good evening. Big Ten bracketology soon—in the meantime, what I’ve posed to the writers:
What is the worst mixer you’ve ever made? I don’t mean, like, “I have a problem” things like cough syrup and tequila; thinking more things like my own example, Diet Coke and gin.
MNW: The reason I asked this is that I was at the cabin a couple weekends ago, having a little late-night root through the pantry and cupboards. My in-laws (the owners of said cabin) aren’t big drinkers, but they keep a few bottles around for those of us (their ingrate son-in-law, should’ve known better than to allow their daughter to marry a swarthy Catholic) who partake regularly.
One of those bottles was gin, a few shots of Tanqueray left. It’s been up there since who knows when—I enjoy a good gin drink, but not the resulting hangover after one turns into four.
For some reason, seeing the Aldi-brand diet cola—the second-best mass-produced and readily-available diet cola in our official power rankings!—forced a flashback to a time in college when, pregaming for some kind of event, I drank multiple bottles of Diet Coke with a bunch of gin poured in.
Reader, it was not good.
Rest of the writers—whoever’s left, at least—what say you?
He was a high school quarterback: Malort and my mouth.
Although Fernet and Diet Coke was also really bad.
MNW: Hwahsqb’s an idiot; try the Evanston Handshake:
RU in VA: Blackout bomb – a 1.5oz of vodka in a Truly.
MC ClapYoHandz: Not joking, gin and tonic. Hate gin, hate tonic, it’s a bad drink supervillain for me.
And while this wasn’t the worst tasting by any stretch it was classic college drunk think. The guys in the dorm dubbed it the “Arctic Fox” and the recipe was simple: 1 part vodka, 1 part soda, 1 part water. Serve in pint glass. I believe the logic for the water was that it would allow for handling more vodka, and it kinda worked.
Dead Read: One of the frats at my school (not mine, but one I had a bunch of friends in) was famous for making various punches. One of them was “piss’n’shits.” It involved using various clear liquors and lemonade mix. That was the piss. The shits were three musketeers minis, the only mass market candy that would float on the surface.
It actually was quite palatable. The problem…it was an elixir that generated dry heaves on an industrial level for young people that had not learned to pace themselves. By senior year, I almost figured out the pacing thing…but not quite.
Practice man…practice.
Onto the bracketology.
No booms or busts this week; enjoy laughing at the appropriate teams.
- Michigan has fallen to the #2 overall seed. Anyway.
- Other, more democratic—or perhaps republican (little-r republican, spare me your fucking emails)—have proposed that this is an OOPS! ALL THREE-SEEDS conference. The bracketology has yet to bear that out: Illinois looks ensconced as a 2-seed, and Purdue does not appear to be suffering greatly for its loss.
- On the other hand, Michigan State inches closer in the Bracket Matrix to joining the 2-line. That obviously won’t happen, either—there aren’t enough wins to go around to stuff three B1G teams onto the 2-line—but Sparty and Nebraska make for a pair of intriguing threes.
- Please, bracket-makers, put wisconsin, UCLA, and Iowa onto an 8/9 game so I don’t have to think about them beyond maybe a first game that I ignore anyway because a MAAC team will be putting a scare in Purdue.
- Indiana’s home loss to Northwestern is the Hoosiers’ first Quad 2 loss of the season, and they’ll need to pray the ‘Cats (NET 69) stay on the right side of that 75th place in the rankings.
- Ohio State, it’s worth mentioning, has a better SOS (32) and better combined Q1/Q2 record (7-11) than Indiana (45 and 4-11, respectively). Yet the Buckeyes are on the wrong side of the line and the Hoosiers are getting a benefit of the doubt. One additional Q1 win helps, I guess. I don’t care enough to break this down further.
- While I have you: if you are someone who has had the serious thought in the last few days that Darian DeVries is or ought to be on the hot seat in Bloomington, or that he’s not going to be a success because “the players look disinterested” or “I have Concerns with their approach to offense”—touch. fucking. grass.
- Good riddance, USC. Let’s see if you can play in The Crown after all but four players and a towel boy opt out for the off-season.
Big Ten Basketball Weekend Hoop
Friday, February 27
#3 Michigan Wolverines at #10 Illinois Fighting Illini
7pm | FOX | Mich -1.5 | O/U 158.5
I was prepared to call CBS Sports now the best of the big sites (ESPN, FOX, CBS) for their score bugs (ESPN has taken away the betting lines and FOX is way too cramped-then-large to be readable—but god are there annoying ads and shit on CBS Sports. Someone get it together.
This game should be good. Whatever.
Saturday, February 28
Iowa Hawkeyes at Penn State Nittany Lions
11am | BTN | Iowa -9.5 | O/U 145.5
Nothing—and I mean nothing—says “trap game” like 11am at the BJ Center.
Oregon Ducks at Northwestern Wildcats
1pm | BTN | Northwestern -3.5 | O/U 142.5
Nothing—and I mean nothing—says “who the fuck cares?” like this game.
UCLA Bruins at Minnesota Golden Gophers
1pm | FS1 | UCLA -1.5 | O/U 135.5
I want to get Mick Cronin’s thoughts on the unfairness of the raised court at the Barn.
Probably is mad because he can’t see over it.
#12 Nebraska Cornhuskers at USC Trojans
3pm | BTN | Nebraska -5.5 | O/U 146.5
Eh. This is a game.
wisconsin badgers at Washington Huskies
3pm | FS1 | uw -1.5 | O/U 153.5
You know which one it is.
Sunday, March 1
Rutgers Scarlet Knights at Maryland Terrapins
11am | FS1
In the race to avoid the Games of Shames, this one looms large, especially given Oregon joining the Knights, Terps, and ‘Cats at 4-13. THE INTRIGUE.
#8 Purdue Boilermakers at Ohio State Buckeyes
12:30pm | CBS
I guess one more chance for Ohio State to get on the right side of the line, huh? This one’s at the Schott, which is cool and good.
#13 Michigan State Spartans at Indiana Hoosiers
2:45pm | CBS
I guess one more chance for Ohio State to get on the right side of the line, huh? This one’s at Assembly Hall, which has been known to fall apart. But then, haven’t we all?
Talk about shitty drinks. Enjoy the games and/or the SBNation Year of Conversations.